Expectations

It’s really funny how your life can turn out completely different than you expected, without you even realizing it. You have these grand lists of everything you want out of life but then real life has a way of coming in and changing things without telling you. It’s actually pretty funny when you think about it. My husband is not anything I would have ever imagined for myself. I wanted someone who was tall, but not too tall; a music lover; someone who I could sit and talk about anything under the sun and have intelligent conversations with; someone who shared my love of learning; someone who loves being in the water as much as me; basically someone like me. That is definitely not who I ended up with.

My husband is an inch shorter than me (don’t judge!), he likes to listen to music occasionally but mostly he listens to talk radio, we do have intelligent conversations but they’re usually about sports not philosophy, he has such awful allergies that he hates to go outside in the spring/summer which is my favorite time of year and he is pretty much as far away from being like me as humanly possible but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Ross is everything that I didn’t know I needed. He supports me, he is patient when I don’t understand some sports play that’s elementary to him, he pushes me to do things when everyone else tells me not to. He is a very strong personality, which compliments my submissive personality just fine. He is incredibly protective, which makes me feel safe, and he isn’t afraid to go to bat for me against his family or mine. I’ve never had anybody like that before. He may not understand why I still get hung up on things from my last relationship but he respects that I’ve had a rough road and he is still there for me. 

We had a really hard first couple years of marriage. (If anybody tries to tell you that living together before marriage will help make the transition into married life easier and take some of those problems away, they’re WRONG!!!!!) We did have a lot of external issues (money and unexpected medical bills) come up and put lots of strain on our relationship but never once did either of us consider leaving. We had to learn how to fight fair, to communicate better, to respect each other’s space and how to love each other even when we didn’t feel like it.

He is definitely not my best friend and that’s how we like it. That is now of my biggest pet peeves, when girls say that they married/are dating their best friend. To me, that doesn’t make any sense and that doesn’t sound desirable at all. I have my own friends and I have kept them since getting married. To me, saying that he is your best friend implies that you have your entire life wrapped up in him and can’t/don’t do anything on your own. Now I know that isn’t true for most people, but I’ve seen it enough to know that it’s a lot more prominent than we’d like. 

My husband is not (and never will be) my best friend, but he is the love of my life and I am happier than I could have ever imagined with him. I cannot wait to see where life takes us. 2 years down, 100 more to go. 🙂

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