So I have gone back and forth debating about the Navy for over a year now. (yes, I know, I’m indecisive) But this is a huge life changing deal so I’m allowing myself the back and forth. One of my husband’s friends is in the Navy, he did the reserves for a few years and is now finished with his officer’s school and about to be finished with all his technical schooling to be a pilot! So I texted him yesterday because one of the main lingering concerns that I still had was about the recruiters. I am an emotional person and can easily get wrapped up in something if it sounds really good, so I wanted to talk to someone who had been through it so I could know if the recruiters would tell me mostly the truth or if they would try to feed me a line to get me to sign up and add to their numbers.
So I asked Brandon about the recruiters and we set up a time to talk on the phone later that evening. He seemed really excited that I was considering the Navy, which made me feel good. (Brandon is an amazing guy and he always makes you feel better about yourself) We talked on the phone for half an hour, and he told me all of his personal experiences. He said that if you go into the recruiters office and ask professional and say you would like the information, they are more likely to give you both sides of the coin than if you go in trying to be friendly and buddy-buddy with them, which makes sense. He also said (more than once) that nobody can MAKE you do anything, they can PRESSURE you all they want but they can’t MAKE you. They may tell you that there are spots open for the job that you want but to get them you would have to sign now and things like that, but you don’t have to. We talked about boot camp too, which I was also dreading and didn’t particularly want to do, but he said it will suck but you’ll get through it and that’s just how it is. I told him that I don’t particularly want to go someplace where I’m just going to be yelled at all the time, and he said that is part of it but they yell at you because that’s their job. That made me feel better (even though it’s not like that was new info, of course it’s their job!) because I tend to take things so personally (again, because I’m an emotional person) so that’ll be good to remember. He also said that it’s good, when you’re talking to the recruiters, to take some time and do your own research. Again, this made me feel better even though it isn’t new info or a new idea, I always want to double and triple check everything and make 1000% sure I’m ok with it, especially with as big of a decision as this. So talking to Brandon made me feel a lot better about everything and made me feel like I could actually do it.
So today, while I had nothing to do at work, I went on the Navy sight and looked at their jobs. I went through everything, thinking I would want something with photography or journalism or maybe even a little bit of medical because I have some phlebotomy experience and loved it, but I got really excited when I got to the Special Operations section. When I was debating this and looking into it last time (about 4 months ago) I briefly looked at the Coast Guard as well. The thing that turned me off from the Coast Guard was 1) their exclusivity, and 2)they have much higher test score requirements. (I know those are kinda the same thing, but still) The thing that drew me to the Coast Guard was the idea of doing search and rescue type of jobs. So when I got to the Spec Ops section and saw that they have AIRR, which is Aviation Rescue Swimmer, and Navy Divers I got really excited! So I printed out all the information from the Navy pages about the 2 jobs and I’m excited to talk to the hubster about them!
I think the reason I keep coming back to joining the Navy is that I want what I do to matter. I had a guy from the church tell me that I was important yesterday, which felt good, but it also didn’t feel like enough. Yes, I do all the office stuff for the church and if I didn’t do it then the church would not run. Yes, I do lots of things for lots of people and keep it all well organized. Yes, I deal with lots of difficult people and snotty people and opinionated people and I do it all with a smile on my face so that everyone has good opinions about the church. And I know all these things are important. But they aren’t very fulfilling for me. Something that has kept me from moving forward with the Navy in the past couple years though, has been that I like our life here in LExington and I don’t know that I want to give up the things that have come into my life. Ross and I just moved into a gorgeous new house. I finally found a barn that offers not only Western riding, but Western versatility lessons, which is something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time. Ross and I are meeting with someone from a Christian foster agency tonight to talk about the possibility of fostering children. These are all things that I am really happy and excited about, so I don’t want to do anything that will change those things. But at the same time, I cannot shake the feeling of excitement and…longing almost…when I think about joining the Navy. I had a serious talk with God yesterday and asked Him to keep the Navy and the armed forces in the forefront if that was where He wanted me to go, to keep putting it in front of me so I couldn’t escape it. Since then I’ve seen innumerable Navy bumper stickers and license plate holders, Brandon’s wife posted about where they’re going and what they’re doing next on Facebook, and there were uniforms for all the branches of the military at Build-A-Bear. So I’m guessing that God is keeping it in front of me so I won’t forget and I won’t pass it up.
When my husband first started looking into joining the Army, I had a lot of fear. All I could think of was me sitting in a cemetery being handed a folded flag. (Thankfully he didn’t join, due to various surgeries that he’s had) But since he decided not to join, I’ve been battling with the idea of joining myself. I no longer feel the fear that I had before, I’m not scared to deploy (I still don’t WANT to, but that’s not fear) or scared to leave Lexington, or scared to leave family. (I am still a little apprehensive to tell my family, because they are all pretty anti-government at the moment and don’t particularly have nice things to say about the military or law enforcement either) It does make me nervous that I would be going into a situation that I know next to nothing about and don’t have anyone that I can talk to that will tell men how it’s going to be. The only people I know that have been in the military are Brandon and my cousin Nick who was a Marine. So while I can talk to them, and I will, 2 people does not a whole picture make. Especially because neither of them have done what I’m thinking I would like to do. But I’m still excited about the idea of doing it, and honestly as much as I don’t want to give up the great things in our life now, I don’t feel like I would be distraught to leave them behind. There are other foster agencies and other barns (even though I probably wouldn’t be able to do either of those things with a military lifestyle of moving so much), Ross’ job can go wherever he does (a perk of working for a national company) and he loves to move, my family doesn’t want to stay in Lexington so they were eventually going to leave anyways, Ross’ family is always going to stay in Lexington but if we live near a beach then his parents will come visit as often as they can so that would be fun. Ross thinks I should have gone and talked to a recruiter a year ago, he thinks the Navy would be a perfect fit for me and he wants me to be happy and feel fulfilled too. I know my in-laws would be thrilled, Ross said his dad was really excited when he told him the last time that I was thinking about it. I honestly don’t know how my parents would react, but the fear of their reaction is based on childhood habits that are so instilled in me that I have a hard time getting around them, I know that it’s my life and that these choices are between Ross and I now and we need to decide based on what’s best for us and our family.
All in all, I think that it would be a very good path for me to follow and a path that would be very exciting and very fulfilling. Now I need to start running and doing pushups (since I don’t think I even know how to do one correctly) and swimming so I can get into the best shape ever so I can pass training and be accepted for the job I want!
And I need to decide if I would be able to jump out of a helicopter…and learn how to fly aircrafts…or if I would rather do diving…
I am honestly really excited now. 🙂 I can’t wait to talk to Ross on my lunch break or tonight! I’m going to go talk to a recruiter tomorrow! (See what I mean about being emotional and getting excited and getting swept up in the idea of things??? This is why I need to be strong and not let them pressure me. As long as I go by myself that should be easy, I’m not going to make this decision without talking to Ross first so there’s a built in excuse not to sign right there!)